Happiness isn't something that you are born with.
Happiness is something that happens through a series of experiences,
habits and realizations over the course of your life. This isn't a
guide to try and fix people who are clinically depressed, but a series
of things I have learned over my life that have shaped the way I look at
life and the world. Below is list of bad habits you should try to correct only if you want to be happier. Hope to inspire.
1. Chronic Complaining
The chronic complainer tends to always have something wrong in their life, their issues are more important than everybody else, and when you have something to vent about yourself, they aren't very interested in listening. Everybody gets dealt a hand in life. Some get dealt better hands than others, but at the end of the day this is the hand of cards that is yours. Anybody anywhere has hundreds of things they could complain about at any given time. If you are a chronic complainer, quit whining and talk about the things that are positive in your life and focus on what is good. If you have a problem, sit down and work out a solution. Constant complaining does nothing but push your friends away and keep you in that dark unhappy place. You have good in your life, find it, and share it.
2. Retail Therapy
Life is about experiences, however so many people get caught up in materialistic items that they forget what truly makes us happy. Sure the latest gadget may make you feel good for the evening, but that high is temporary, and you will be back chasing that retail high shortly after. Get out and experience the world. If you can't afford to get away, become a tourist in your own city. Skydive, bungee jump, go to the beach, recreational place, take a hike on an unknown trail. There are so many things you could be doing that will enrich your life that doesn't involve buying things.
3. Talking Behind Others Back
4. Holding Grudges
Harboring animosity towards somebody is like carrying around a backpack full of rocks. You don't have a problem carrying it, but it is a load on your back, and life sure would be easier if you could just take it off. Do yourself a favor, forgive. This doesn't mean you need to become best buds with whomever has done you wrong, but come to terms with what has happened and understand that people make mistakes. Forgiving will help free you of anxiety, stress and depression and allow you to have happier relationships. Free yourself of the hate, and move on.
5. Making Assumption
Making assumption is a huge source of not only unhappiness but also anxiety for people. Stop doing it, ask that person for what's really happen.
Magnification Often times unhappy people have a tendency to blow small things out of proportion. Take a step back before you deal with an issue and try to look at it objectively. If you still aren't sure, ask somebody you trust what they would do in this situation before losing sleep over it.
Minimization The exact opposite of magnification is minimization. It is when you take real problems and instead of dealing with them, tell yourself they are insignificant. Unfortunately you can only sweep your problems under the rug for so long before they explode. If this sounds like you, stop ignoring your ongoing problems, become actionable and take steps to fix them. Much like grudges, you will feel much better once these problems have been resolved.
6. Self Labeling
How you talk to yourself can seriously affect your self image. When you make a mistake, tell yourself "You made a mistake, next time you will do better". Saying things like "You are an idiot", or "You are a piece of crap" does nothing but lower your self worth. This might sound insignificant, but you need to believe in yourself to be happy, and calling yourself names prevents you from moving on after you've made a mistake.
7. Worrying What Others Think.
People do their hair a certain way, dress a certain way, and act a certain way in an attempt to fit in. All these things take so much energy yet in most circumstances the people, you are friends with people who do like you, who fit with you. If you did things in an attempt to impress them over and over again, you'll be tired at last. Stop doing things for other people and do things that make you happy. You can try to fit in but not for forever. Accept it, move on. Remember, you cannot make everyone happy.
8. Let Stranger Affects Your Mood
If somebody gives you the middle finger while driving, smile back at them and let them spend their energy being cranky. Don't let somebody else's bad day control the outcome of yours. If you have to deal with a grumpy person, kill them with kindness.
9. Letting Negative Thoughts in Your Mind
When these thoughts enter your head, immediately think of something else. You are actually able to choose what you think about, and the longer you entertain a negative thought, the more it is going to stay in focus. We are all human, and bad thoughts will enter our heads from time to time, but by being conscious of what you thinking about you can push them out of your head before they take you over.
10. Loneliness
If you are single and feel like you need a significant other to be happy, you're wrong. You can't be in a healthy relationship until you are happy independently. Using somebody else as a crutch for your happiness is a one way trip to an unhealthy relationship. If you are struggling to find a companion, stop looking in bars and stop looking online. Consider participate in a group activity that encourages socialization. You will meet like minded people who share more in common with you.
11. Worrying About The Future
The thing is, you have very little control over whether or not these things happen, so why spend your time worrying about it. As long as you have a reasonable game plan and are living responsibly you should be focused on what is going on in your life now. Focus on what you are doing this second, if you hate it, do something else. Right now I'm looking outside, it is sunny and my cat is rubbing up against my leg. I couldn't be happier.
12. Waiting For The Future
When you are in high school, you think you will be happy when you graduate. Once you've graduated, you think you will be happy once you land a good job. Once you have the dream job, you think you will be happy when you are married. Next you think you will be happy when you have kids. Once you have kids, you think you will be happy when they move out of the house. Next it will be when they have kids. Before you know it you will have spent your entire life waiting for events to bring you happiness just to realize life (and happiness) has passed you by.
13. Lack of Hobbies
Before I even get started, your job, house cleaning and watching TV are not hobbies. Hobbies are activities that you can become passionate about. Happy people tend to have hobbies, whether your hobby is kick boxing, playing the guitar, or even basket weaving. Hobbies give you something to do with your free time and give you some time for you. This is time you are investing in yourself. Group hobbies also have the added benefit of giving you additional socializing time.
14. Stop Learning
Learning new things not only gives you things to talk about in social environments, it also helps improve your self worth, which leads to happiness.
15. Eat Poorly
Making bad food choices or eating too much is not only bad for your health, it can make you feel lethargic, guilty, depressed and when done for extended periods of time typically results in gained weight. Unfortunately eating poorly is a vicious cycle. Often times people eat to self medicate when they are feeling down. They feel great for a few minutes while they eat their delicious treats, but then feel guilt afterwards, followed by lack of energy and reduced productivity. Eat right, look great, and feel great.
16. Wanting More Money
Unfortunately, the illusion that more money will solve all your problems and make you happy is nothing more than just that, an illusion. According to a Princeton University study, emotional well being and happiness does rise with income, but only to an annual household income of $75,000. If your household income is already over $75,000. It might be time to reevaluate your happiness, more money is probably not going to make you that much happier.
17. Always Looking Above
You wake up right now, still having your heart beats, your lung breathes. You have food whenever you're hungry. You can walk, you have an education, and so many other grace. You have too many things you were never really see. Compare it to people who cannot even barely eat, who are in pain, severe illness, who are dying. Your life is wonderful regardless of other problems you might ever have. Be grateful dear.
18. Not Having A Goal
One of the most exciting things in life is setting a goal and accomplishing it. One study shows that people suffering from depression often set goals that they are incapable of accomplishing. For this reason, incremental goals are extremely important to build self confidence and positive reinforcement for the goal setter. Start small, and build up steam, you are the only thing that stands in the way.
19. Not Following Through
Quit making excuses and walk the talk, nobody is going to do it for you. Want to go back to school? Pick up the phone and register. Want to lose 10 lbs? Get in your car and drive to the gym. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Quit letting the first step hold you back.
20. Hate Your Job
The average full time work week is 40 hours. With two weeks vacation most people work 1920 hours per year. If you are going to spend 1920 hours per year working, please make an attempt to like your job. Since you will be spending 22.4% of your entire year (yes that includes sleeping hours) you better like what you are doing. Being unhappy for a quarter or your life just isn't worth it. Do something about it right now. Make a decision!
Original Title:
22 Habits of Unhappy People
Repost from:
http://www.infobarrel.com/22_Habits_of_Unhappy_People
1. Chronic Complaining
The chronic complainer tends to always have something wrong in their life, their issues are more important than everybody else, and when you have something to vent about yourself, they aren't very interested in listening. Everybody gets dealt a hand in life. Some get dealt better hands than others, but at the end of the day this is the hand of cards that is yours. Anybody anywhere has hundreds of things they could complain about at any given time. If you are a chronic complainer, quit whining and talk about the things that are positive in your life and focus on what is good. If you have a problem, sit down and work out a solution. Constant complaining does nothing but push your friends away and keep you in that dark unhappy place. You have good in your life, find it, and share it.
2. Retail Therapy
Life is about experiences, however so many people get caught up in materialistic items that they forget what truly makes us happy. Sure the latest gadget may make you feel good for the evening, but that high is temporary, and you will be back chasing that retail high shortly after. Get out and experience the world. If you can't afford to get away, become a tourist in your own city. Skydive, bungee jump, go to the beach, recreational place, take a hike on an unknown trail. There are so many things you could be doing that will enrich your life that doesn't involve buying things.
3. Talking Behind Others Back
“Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about others.” ~Fran Lebowitz
"We've lost our soul. What have we become? We take the weakest in our society, we hold them up to be ridiculed, laughed at for our sport and entertainment." ~FrankAre you spending your time gossiping or talking about other people? Unhappy people get caught up talking about other people and having a tendency to judge others. "Look what that idiot is doing!. "Can you believe what she is wearing". Trashing somebody else might make you feel better for a moment, but all you are doing is masking your insecurities by trying to put them beneath you. Instead, try complimenting others, at first it might be hard, but it will make you feel good and will make you a much more desirable person to be around.
4. Holding Grudges
Harboring animosity towards somebody is like carrying around a backpack full of rocks. You don't have a problem carrying it, but it is a load on your back, and life sure would be easier if you could just take it off. Do yourself a favor, forgive. This doesn't mean you need to become best buds with whomever has done you wrong, but come to terms with what has happened and understand that people make mistakes. Forgiving will help free you of anxiety, stress and depression and allow you to have happier relationships. Free yourself of the hate, and move on.
5. Making Assumption
Making assumption is a huge source of not only unhappiness but also anxiety for people. Stop doing it, ask that person for what's really happen.
Magnification Often times unhappy people have a tendency to blow small things out of proportion. Take a step back before you deal with an issue and try to look at it objectively. If you still aren't sure, ask somebody you trust what they would do in this situation before losing sleep over it.
Minimization The exact opposite of magnification is minimization. It is when you take real problems and instead of dealing with them, tell yourself they are insignificant. Unfortunately you can only sweep your problems under the rug for so long before they explode. If this sounds like you, stop ignoring your ongoing problems, become actionable and take steps to fix them. Much like grudges, you will feel much better once these problems have been resolved.
6. Self Labeling
How you talk to yourself can seriously affect your self image. When you make a mistake, tell yourself "You made a mistake, next time you will do better". Saying things like "You are an idiot", or "You are a piece of crap" does nothing but lower your self worth. This might sound insignificant, but you need to believe in yourself to be happy, and calling yourself names prevents you from moving on after you've made a mistake.
7. Worrying What Others Think.
People do their hair a certain way, dress a certain way, and act a certain way in an attempt to fit in. All these things take so much energy yet in most circumstances the people, you are friends with people who do like you, who fit with you. If you did things in an attempt to impress them over and over again, you'll be tired at last. Stop doing things for other people and do things that make you happy. You can try to fit in but not for forever. Accept it, move on. Remember, you cannot make everyone happy.
8. Let Stranger Affects Your Mood
If somebody gives you the middle finger while driving, smile back at them and let them spend their energy being cranky. Don't let somebody else's bad day control the outcome of yours. If you have to deal with a grumpy person, kill them with kindness.
9. Letting Negative Thoughts in Your Mind
When these thoughts enter your head, immediately think of something else. You are actually able to choose what you think about, and the longer you entertain a negative thought, the more it is going to stay in focus. We are all human, and bad thoughts will enter our heads from time to time, but by being conscious of what you thinking about you can push them out of your head before they take you over.
10. Loneliness
If you are single and feel like you need a significant other to be happy, you're wrong. You can't be in a healthy relationship until you are happy independently. Using somebody else as a crutch for your happiness is a one way trip to an unhealthy relationship. If you are struggling to find a companion, stop looking in bars and stop looking online. Consider participate in a group activity that encourages socialization. You will meet like minded people who share more in common with you.
11. Worrying About The Future
The thing is, you have very little control over whether or not these things happen, so why spend your time worrying about it. As long as you have a reasonable game plan and are living responsibly you should be focused on what is going on in your life now. Focus on what you are doing this second, if you hate it, do something else. Right now I'm looking outside, it is sunny and my cat is rubbing up against my leg. I couldn't be happier.
12. Waiting For The Future
When you are in high school, you think you will be happy when you graduate. Once you've graduated, you think you will be happy once you land a good job. Once you have the dream job, you think you will be happy when you are married. Next you think you will be happy when you have kids. Once you have kids, you think you will be happy when they move out of the house. Next it will be when they have kids. Before you know it you will have spent your entire life waiting for events to bring you happiness just to realize life (and happiness) has passed you by.
13. Lack of Hobbies
Before I even get started, your job, house cleaning and watching TV are not hobbies. Hobbies are activities that you can become passionate about. Happy people tend to have hobbies, whether your hobby is kick boxing, playing the guitar, or even basket weaving. Hobbies give you something to do with your free time and give you some time for you. This is time you are investing in yourself. Group hobbies also have the added benefit of giving you additional socializing time.
14. Stop Learning
Learning new things not only gives you things to talk about in social environments, it also helps improve your self worth, which leads to happiness.
15. Eat Poorly
Making bad food choices or eating too much is not only bad for your health, it can make you feel lethargic, guilty, depressed and when done for extended periods of time typically results in gained weight. Unfortunately eating poorly is a vicious cycle. Often times people eat to self medicate when they are feeling down. They feel great for a few minutes while they eat their delicious treats, but then feel guilt afterwards, followed by lack of energy and reduced productivity. Eat right, look great, and feel great.
16. Wanting More Money
Unfortunately, the illusion that more money will solve all your problems and make you happy is nothing more than just that, an illusion. According to a Princeton University study, emotional well being and happiness does rise with income, but only to an annual household income of $75,000. If your household income is already over $75,000. It might be time to reevaluate your happiness, more money is probably not going to make you that much happier.
17. Always Looking Above
You wake up right now, still having your heart beats, your lung breathes. You have food whenever you're hungry. You can walk, you have an education, and so many other grace. You have too many things you were never really see. Compare it to people who cannot even barely eat, who are in pain, severe illness, who are dying. Your life is wonderful regardless of other problems you might ever have. Be grateful dear.
18. Not Having A Goal
One of the most exciting things in life is setting a goal and accomplishing it. One study shows that people suffering from depression often set goals that they are incapable of accomplishing. For this reason, incremental goals are extremely important to build self confidence and positive reinforcement for the goal setter. Start small, and build up steam, you are the only thing that stands in the way.
19. Not Following Through
Quit making excuses and walk the talk, nobody is going to do it for you. Want to go back to school? Pick up the phone and register. Want to lose 10 lbs? Get in your car and drive to the gym. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Quit letting the first step hold you back.
20. Hate Your Job
The average full time work week is 40 hours. With two weeks vacation most people work 1920 hours per year. If you are going to spend 1920 hours per year working, please make an attempt to like your job. Since you will be spending 22.4% of your entire year (yes that includes sleeping hours) you better like what you are doing. Being unhappy for a quarter or your life just isn't worth it. Do something about it right now. Make a decision!
Original Title:
22 Habits of Unhappy People
Repost from:
http://www.infobarrel.com/22_Habits_of_Unhappy_People
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